No man is an island, no one can live alone. This I agree, very much!
But there comes a time in our lives when we learn to choose the people we want to keep and those who we want to skip. This world is full of choices and choosing to surround ourselves with people who make us happy is one of the choices we must make.
I was never part of big gangs in school and in college, but I always had a circle of friends who I cherished up to this day. As a professional, we had cliques … and the people in those cliques remain friends till now. Moving here to India, I easily made friends. I have had several circles from every company I worked with. Many of them are still in touch with me and we get together once in a while. Outside work, I made friends with some people who have remained an integral part of my life as an expat here. They were and are still a great help in making me feel at home in a country not my own. Apart from these people, I came across thousands who I simply call acquaintances – officemates, neighbors, mothers of my daughter’s classmates, wives of my husband’s colleagues, friends of friends, relatives.
As time passed by, many things have changed and I made some choices. One of them is to weed out people from my life. In doing so, I have this philosophy to follow: “If your presence doesn’t add value to my life, your absence will make no difference!”
We may come across a lot of people in our journey through life, but not all of them are worth keeping. I am done being the Nicey-pansy female that I use to be. I have decided to live for myself and my family, minus the unnecessary complications and pointless drama that other people parade themselves with. I have decided to steer clear of all the negativities and be free from all who lack the enthusiasm to live a life of true happiness.
Decades of being myself — a daughter, a friend, a student, a professional, a wife, a mother — I learned that people are different. Some of them can be toxic and they defy logic. Here’s my shortlist: JUDGEMENTAL, they are the ones who have something negative to say about anything that you are and anything that you do; JEALOUS, they are those who can never be happy for you. They mock your achievements and pretend like they don’t care; MANIPULATIVE, they are the ones who make everything about them. They would use all kinds of techniques to get what they want. They make you believe that they are the victim and that we should feel sorry for them; UNGRATEFUL, Oh I have a long list of these types of people. They would pretend to be such a friend until they have squeezed all that you can offer, and then they stab you in the back.
Everyone deserves to be happy, and I am no exception. To be happy, I have to stay clear of people who weigh me down, people who cannot be happy unless they have taken you on their road to being miserable themselves. Weeding out people who never give a damn about how I feel is the first step. They do not have a place in the life that I want for me and my family. They have no right to call me a friend. They are not welcome in my circle. Saying YES to happiness means saying NO to things and people that stress you out. We may not be able to control someone else’s behavior, but we can choose not to be part of it. There it is … the reason why I distance myself from people!